Up until recently, I felt guilty whenever mommy friends would tell me, “I’ll stay home first and focus on my kids.” Were Jack and I making the wrong decision to be a dual-income family?
Logic tells me, however, that for one, I need to work in order to help Jack. And I gladly want to help him.
Second, I have tried to be a stay-at-home mom for half a year after Cate was born. And, personally, I found it to be such an overrated experience. I did not bloom, and neither did Reese. She was so clingy and weepy. And I easily became impatient with her. I have to admit that spanking her bottom has crossed my mind many times during those days. It didn’t help that Reese was in her terrible two’s and had to adjust to baby Cate at the same time. Chaos!
Recently, a wise friend and mentor helped me see my situation in a better light. Work-life balance is the buzz word these days, and my friend (a university teacher) tells her students, “Work-life balance varies from person to person. It’s something you have to determine, given your personal circumstances. There are women with very demanding jobs, who are able to take very good care of their children and run their households efficiently. There are likewise women who thrive on being stay-at-home moms.”
Given my situation and my personality, I can now say—for the first time, without guilt—that I prefer to be a working mom. My children’s needs will always come first, but I also believe they don’t need me 24/7. I find that the fulfillment I get from my work makes me a very happy, contented… and patient mom.