Tag Archives: children

Naming my children: celebrity and Christianity

I believe that it is our obligation as parents to give our babies beautiful and Christian names. Many parents nowadays get caught up in naming their children after celebrities, with no reference anymore to their Christian faith.

My own daughters are nicknamed after celebrities—Reese after Reese Witherspoon, and Cate after Cate Blanchett. But Reese’s real name is Therese after St. Therese of Lisieux. When I was pregnant with her, I used to pray frequently to Our Lady of La Leche whose image was right beside St. Therese’s at our parish. Once Jack and I had decided on the name “Therese”, we’d pray before both their images.

Reese and Cate
Reese and Cate

Cate’s Christian name is Catherine. She is named after St. Catherine of Sienna, a woman of great strength and courage. When I was pregnant with Cate, I was working on a book on teaching values and addressing common issues that teens have. During this time, I prayed to St. Catherine of Sienna—that I might effect change in the lives of the students for whom I was writing the book.

If I have another girl, I’m thinking of naming her Elizabeth. Then, she’d be nicknamed Elle. If I have a boy, we’re thinking of naming him Andrew. But I have yet to find him a celebrity nickname. Maybe Andy after Andy Garcia, whose character I absolutely loved in the movie When A Man Loves A Woman

This post was written by Meg Murrf Trinidad.




Will your child pass the marshmallow test?

You all know about the Marshmallow Test done on children years ago to test their E.Q. If the test were done on my two girls today, they would fail instantly. Cate who eats everything but… sweets, and Reese with her love of.. marshmallows!

Seriously, I believe the best way to up children’s Emotional Quotient is to teach them to sacrifice in little things, everyday. Raise them to be tough from as early as they can remember. I do not keep a military-like home (no offense meant!), but neither do I give my little girls everything that they want. They do get their treats, but these are never stocked in the cupboard. I buy their treats once in a while. And they have to have eaten their meals first before they can dig into their favorite bag of strawberry mallows or bread.

When either child throws a tantrum, I adamantly refuse to give them what they want. I don’t care if they’re making a scene in the mall. Either I explain to them why what they’re demanding for is not good for them, or I ask them to calm down and ask me properly.

A few years ago, I attended a talk on E.Q. given by Dr. Esther Esteban. One of the things she addressed was teaching our children the virtues of temperance and chastity. And she explained something I never forgot. It went something along the lines of, “If you want to teach your adolescents the virtue of chastity, start them young by disciplining them in their love of food.” In short, we should teach our little ones to temper the pleasure they find in food (i.e. they don’t have to eat the whole bar of their favorite chocolate!) as preparation for teaching them later on to control themselves in more important matters.

I love my daughters dearly, and so I don’t want them to turn out to be soft marshmallows. By not giving them all the comforts of life and by teaching them to delay their gratification in the little things, I have great hopes that they will pass the big Marshmallow Tests of life.

This post was written by Meg Murrf Trinidad.

Preggy Belly Tale #1: The Third Time Around!

Last month, my period came four days late. But when I took a pregnancy test, it was negative. False alarm! This month, my period came late again (although I had a good inkling this was no longer a false alarm). When I took the test, it immediately showed just one line (read: negative). “Go back to sleep, Jack. It’s negative again.” I tossed it on the bed, and left my room to munch on fries with my girls.


Twenty minutes later, Reese and Cate bolted into our room and saw the pregnancy test. They ran to it. Reese snatched it up, and they both studied it with interest. “Mom, what’s this?” When I looked at it again, it already had the two lines! Positive. “Jack, wake up! It’s positive!!!” We suddenly felt giddy (dizzy?), like first-time parents again. Reese: “What is it, Mom? What is it?” Me: “Sssh, we’re going to have another baby. But don’t tell the nannies first.”

When we went to my doctor two days later, however, she made us retake the test. And it mysteriously showed a negative result. Hmmm… either I really wasn’t pregnant (I also actually showed no symptoms) or it was just too early in the pregnancy.

Easter Sunday, I still didn’t have my period. So, we decided to take the test again. This time, positive!!! Two very strong lines. And so begins my third preggy adventure…

This post was written by Meg Murrf Trinidad.

Continuing the dating game

Many couples tend to relegate their “couple status” to the back burner once the kids start coming. Jack and I will be celebrating our fifth wedding anniversary this year, and I have found that we have had to very deliberate about our couplehood, so that it stayed on top-of-mind for the two of us.

It’s not that married couples don’t want to spend time together anymore. It actually has more to do with the demands of parenthood. One child gets sick, another one is having a tantrum… First child gets well, the other child catches the virus. The yayas nowadays come and go at lightning speed. Husband and wife are often just trying to keep pace with the daily mishaps that crop up. Before they realize it, the month has passed, and they have not managed to go out on even one true-blue date.

What can we wives do to get back into the “dating game”? (And I speak to the wives because I believe the women carry the tone of the relationship… or at least, women read up more on relationships!)

  1. Don’t always expect to be surprised by your husband. Before life takes over, sync your calendar with your husband’s, and set your dates.
  2. Pencil in your dates, but don’t break your heart if plans change. Be flexible, especially if your husband has to deal with urgent matters at work. But, make sure to reschedule that canceled date.
  3. While on your date, DO NOT TALK ABOUT YOUR KIDS! I learned this from a book I read to prepare me for the birth of my second child. The author devoted a short section to “protecting the marital thread” (as having another child always turns a couple’s world upside down). She specifically gave this tip. Couples should make the deliberate effort to focus on each other. Talk about things that you learned at work, new interests you want to pursue, challenges that you have in the office. Anything about YOU!
  4. Last, but not least, don’t give in when your kids cry as they see you leave for your date. They will be thankful later on when they see their parents continue to be happily married to each other. When they shriek and beg you to stay home—or worse, beg to join you!—be firm. State what time you’ll be home and why you’re heading out. “Friday night is time for Mom and Dad to spend time together.”

Ironically, switching off the “parent mode” for a few hours every week has helped Jack and me become more effective and happier parents. And the wonders, of course, that dating has done for our marriage. Getting married does not excuse couples from continuing to play the dating game!

This post was written by Meg Murrf Trinidad.

Making Christmas memorable for our children…and for us, parents!

How can we parents remember the true meaning of Christmas and as a consequence, teach our preschoolers to do the same?

Parents, pray about it!

You don’t have to devote a long time to doing so, but it would be good to pray about what Christmas is really all about.  What does Jesus’ birth mean?  What is the Christmas story teaching us?  And most importantly, how can we impart this to our children—whose education in the faith God has entrusted to us?

Bedtime stories can have Christmas as its theme.

There are many beautiful storybooks in book sales about the different characters in the Nativity story (i.e. about the donkey, the star, the littlest angel, etc.).  Serve hot chocolate together with storytime, and this will surely be a Christmas season to remember for you and your precocious tots!

Get a belen your child can play with.

When we decorate our homes for Christmas, for whom are we doing it?  This year, you may want to consider buying a belen that you and your children can happily hold and play with.  Or, put your creative juices to work and build a belen with your preschooler.  Lots of ideas are available on the Internet or in kiddie craft books.  Afterwards, the belen you made together can form part of your nightly storytelling.  Each night, you and your child can pretend to be a different character in the story!

Play good Christmas music.

Music always makes the Christmas season so festive.  And our preschoolers enjoy singing popular Christmas songs that they hear in the malls and on the radio.  Let us be proactive and play songs that tell about the birth of the Baby Jesus!  Some examples of such songs are: Away in a Manger, Hark! The Herald Angels Sing, Joy to the World, We Three Kings, The First Noel, and Come All Ye Faithful.  And how about Silent Night for singing right before bedtime?  We can also have friends over and have a Baby Jesus-themed caroling party.

Have Santa Claus occupy his rightful place.

Of course, Christmas would not be complete without Santa Claus!  And I am not here to dash your and your children’s fun to the ground by telling you to say goodbye to Santa Claus.  The Santa Claus tradition is actually about being generous and making others happy with our gifts.  But, let not our focus be only on the giftgiving.  To prepare our children for the coming of Santa Claus, we can tell them the story of Saint Nicholas, the real man on whom the tradition is based.

Also, we can make the Santa Claus gifts but one part of our Christmas Day schedule.  You may want to consider bringing your little ones to Christmas Eve Mass, then opening their Santa Claus gifts on Christmas morning.  Or, attend Christmas Mass in the morning, then open their gifts in the afternoon.

More importantly, preparing our Santa Claus gifts for our preschoolers should not be the center of our attention!  Whatever it is we give our children will surely make them happy.

Personally, I believe the birth of the Baby Jesus is God’s way of clearly showing us that we are His children—no matter how old we may be!  Oftentimes, we parents forget this fact as we take on the many responsibilities of parenthood.  We have to be so “grownup” all the time.  Now that it is Christmas season, let us remember to be little children again before Our Lord.  We can ask the Baby Jesus, Mama Mary and Saint Joseph to guide us in our parenting—an often-demanding and exhausting job!

Also, the Nativity story is about “keeping life simple.”  We parents sometimes like to overthink the future and want everything to be picture-perfect for our children.  We want to give them the best material things, the most wonderful home, the best education.  All of these are good intentions, but we sometimes forget to count on Our Lord’s blessings that He will help us provide for the most essential needs of our little ones.

It is when we parents learn to be little children again before God, and to abandon everything in His hands that I believe we will be able to teach our own children about the true meaning of Christmas.

This post was written by Meg Murrf Trinidad.